Productive

Thank you, everyone, for all your kind words of encouragement! It really helps a lot. :)

Things are not bad at all. I am actually posting this from work -- yes, that's right, work! I resgistered with an agency Monday and started a gig Tuesday. And they keep wanting me to come back. It's not a huge amount of money, and I'm a temp, but it feels good to be productive and valued by an employer. It's remarkable how different it is to go to work in the morning without a hangover, and without having to drink oceans of coffee both to keep myself awake and to cover my stale beer breath.

My living situation is going fine, too. I actually like it more than I anticipated I would. I figured, just knowing how I am, that I would spend the first couple weeks absolutely hating it and kicking myself for doing it, then settle in a bit and accept it. But I've found I do accept it, and I'm benefiting from my brothers in the house. If I stay 2 or 3 months, I'll probably leave with 2 or 3 lifelong friends. It's inconvenient, I find myself resenting rushing from work to spend a few minutes with my son, and rushing to the house to make my curfew. Then do my silly chores, vacuuming a clean rug and windexing a spotless glass table. So, obviously, it's good that I'm living there. :)

Last night I did the rushing around, a bottle of bleach leaked in my truck, and my son was utterly blase about seeing me. I mentioned the bleach to a guy at the house, and he pointed out I should be grateful to have a truck. He was right, of course, and I agreed, and added that I'm grateful for bleach, too.

Today I realized I felt hurt that my son has been blase and matter-of-fact when he sees me the past few days. I'm accustomed to him being excited and thrilled to see me. Well, since he would go a week or two without seeing me, of course he was excited. Now he sees me every day, and it's part of his daily routine. And that's why I'm here -- to see him every day and be a part of his routine. So why should I feel bad that he responds to it as a routine thing? :)

I really do have a lot to be grateful for, and I'm aware of the countless blessings God has given me. Every day, it seems I'm a little more happy, joyous and free than I was the day before. Can it get any better than that???

Bless you all, my friends! I'll post again when I can.