What Were You Doing A Year Ago?

Here's what I was up to.

What I've learned in the past year is this: a day without a relapse is better than a day with a relapse. :)

I'm packing my apartment today. I'm loading up the truck and taking everything to LA tomorrow. I'll put it in storage. I'll spend a couple days with my son at my wife's apartment, while she's out of town for New Year's. I'll move in to a sober living house on Tuesday, five minutes away from my son. :)

This is going to be a big change for me. I felt anxious, and a little panicky, and some dread, as soon as I wrote the check and committed to moving there. It was actually very similar to the feelings I had when I first started AA. "Oh, my God, I'm going to have to change everything, give up everything about myself, and I don't really want to do it." I never even had a roommate in college. I've always been free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with no one to say otherwise. This house has rules, curfews, and I'll be living cheek by jowl with a dozen other guys, sharing a kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, closets. Six months sobriety are required, so we don't have the deer-in-the-headlights newcomers, and there's regular testing, so there should be a minimum of sneaking out.

Nevertheless, what I'm facing is responsibility, structure, discipline and accountability, plus getting along with a bunch of people as whacked out as I am. These are the reasons I'm going into a sober living house. These are also the reasons I'm dreading it and anxious about it. :) It seems a bit like joining the army. Or going to prison. Or something.

The house doesn't have internet, so my posting in the next few months is likely to be rather rare, unfortunately. I will be thinking about and praying for all of you, even if I'm not posting regularly. Please pray that God grants me courage, and a willing heart, to accept this blessing and take my next steps in recovery!