Monday, January 19, 2009

Beacon of Hope

It's been a YEAR since I blogged!?!? Holy mackerel, time flies!

There's all kinds of new buttons on Blogger I don't know how to use.

I have "follower", whatever the hell that is. Please stop by her blog and give her some good recovery-blog cheer!

I love you, too, JJ!!

So what's new with me? NOTHING! I am thriving in a drama-free, routine, just-for-today, yet busy, productive and hectic, lifestyle. My son is six, he lives with me half time. The ex and I are getting along great, we are joined at the hip in our passionate commitment to our son; and other than that we leave each other alone. (She has a boyfriend now, which helps A LOT! LOL)

I just celebrated my fourth AA birthday. And I have been free of nicotine for over a year. Thank you, God, for these gifts of Your grace!

I seldom make it to AA meetings these days. I've started going to a new Celebrate Recovery group. My old one was getting strange for me, since the ex was a regular. Plus, there were hardly any drunks, either -- quite a few self-identified "sex addicts" dragged there by their girlfriends who not only don't put out but don't want them masturbating, either. It got kind of creepy listening to these guys surrendering to their pussywhippedness. "Jesus doesn't want me to beat off." I'm as evangelical as the next reluctant Christian drafted by God as a result of recovery, but fercrissake... I took a hiatus from Celebrate Recovery and in the meantime a guy started going who became the ex's boyfriend. If I were to go back, it surely would make for some awkward moments in the group sharing. All in all, it looked like God was leading me elsewhere. So I was kind of out of the recovery community awhile. Then I got the idea to bring Christmas dinner to the guys at the sober living residence I lived in. I did, and one of the guys invited me to his Celebrate Recovery group. I love the way stuff like that happens, all the time, every time I make any effort to give back, to be of service: I'm always the one who benefits most.

I take nothing for granted. I'm genuinely grateful for every blessing God has given me. I haven't been active lately in AA, but I always remember that you guys in and around AA gave me a way to live a life worth living; and I try, every day, to practice the principles in all my affairs and carry the message, mostly by example, of living a good and great life, to everyone I encounter, because it's not just for us drunks. For example, our message beats hell out of the cold showers those poor "sex addicts" at CR are condemned to. Shit, don't even get me started on the homophobia the Saddleback curia attempts to parachute into CR -- fortunately, I haven't seen that get any traction at the CR grassroots, particularly among those of us grounded in AA.

Well, I'm just rambling here. Let this post be a beacon of hope to the newcomer: even when your sobriety begins to be measured in years, it is perfectly possible to remain as crazy and stupid as you were when you were drinking.