Friday, August 03, 2007

Divorce Mediation

This is what divorce mediation is like:

Imagine playing a board game with a child. When the child realizes the grownups aren't letting her win, she gets mad, tells them they're being unfair and ganging up on her, then tips over the table and runs away.

Back to square one, this time with adversarial representation.

It's been a lousy few days...


At 8/20/2007 02:26:00 PM, Phil said...

Thank you all for your sympathy and support -- it really helps!

You know, it just deepens the truth of the program and the fellowship -- I'm not alone, I'm not unique, many have walked this path before me. That comforts me a lot. Just like with the booze, many have walked through the same storm and are now walking in the sunshine. If I follow in your footsteps, I will get to the sunshine, too.

And, once again, I find myself challenged to work the Third Step: how much of my will and my life am I really willing to turn over to the care of God? How much am I holding back, without even realizing it?

I continually discover more of myself that I have refused to abandon to God. I consistently practice insanity, doing the same things again and again expecting different results. I consistently base my actions on my fear, on my distrust of God and His purposes, believing in the face of all evidence that I have to do "this one thing" my way, because God's way will cause me pain, it won't work, not this time.

The truth is, I don't think any of you are walking in the sunshine now by acting on your fears, distrusting God, or indulging in "alanonic" behavior. If I want to join you in the sunshine, I have to follow in your footsteps by giving it up to God, do the next indicated thing, trust that God will make all things right if I surrender to His will.

Some hypocrite I know once told his sponsee: "You don't have to understand it. You don't have to agree with it. You don't have to like it. You just have to do it."


At 8/08/2007 09:06:00 AM, Blogger Namenlosen Trinker said...

Been there. Done that. It sucks. Adversarial representation will wind up costing you both a lot more. And still neither of you will think it's fair, which is probably the best indicator that it is fair.

At 8/08/2007 09:53:00 AM, Blogger Phil said...

Trinker, it is wonderful to hear from you! You have been missed, my friend. Everyone, stop and say hello at Trinker's blog.

At 8/10/2007 07:02:00 AM, Blogger JJ said...

I too have been there and done that. Hang in there my friend.

At 8/11/2007 03:31:00 AM, Blogger dAAve said...


At 8/18/2007 07:10:00 PM, Blogger Redhead Gal said...

Pretty difficult stuff indeed. I pray for you to get through it quickly.

At 8/19/2007 06:38:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

/you and I are wearing the same shoes right now. My wife locked the doors as I was on my way home from treatment, we have spent endless hours with lawyers and now use coaches in four way meetings that are meant to be colabortive.
Tough thing thouhg, I got honesty in treatment and hse didnt.
Peace and good wishes,
Norm F.

At 8/21/2007 08:44:00 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

are you doing better..? sending you good thoughts and love

At 8/26/2007 07:11:00 PM, Blogger Drew's Sis said...

Thanks for your blog. My brother admitted himself to detox yesterday, but walked out today. My family is suffering, but it's helpful to find blogs such as yours to give us hope.

At 8/27/2007 06:22:00 AM, Blogger Trudging said...

I used to work for a small law firm that did lots and lots of divorces and divorce mediations. I doubt that you will find the adversarial process any less frustrating that mediation.

There is light at the end of the tunnel however. You will get through this. You will get on the other side of this. Life will go on. God is in charege.

It is great to see you posting again.

At 4/01/2008 12:17:00 AM, Anonymous free said...

it is nice to walk in straight way


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